Poop On Both Sides Of The Fence

Leave it to good old Jon to put it that way. Except for me, it's both figuratively & literally. Jon's a good friend of mine whom I've known since Sec 2. 17 years is a long time to know somebody. While we don't catch up as frequently as I do with Dolly & S, he'll always have a place in my heart. Jon's in Norway, his visa valid till December. He's having problems getting a job as being able to speak Norwegian is of paramount to employers. It's either return to Sg or get hitched. Thing is, he's not sure what it is he wants.

We sort of get each other since we're in a similar situation - being in a foreign land. We've talked about how we appreciate our family more now that we're away from them. How we miss Sg food & having access to these food at anytime of the day. I don't feel like I belong still. Australia doesn't feel like home. Yet. He spoke of similar sentiments, that the initial culture shock, followed by the teething problems living together with his partner puts him off living in Norway. He told me that it'll be nice to have friends again. But he's stuck in his shell & he feels alone. Coupled with a relationship he isn't certain of, he's got it bad. Just like he knows he should get out more, I just don't have that inclination. I feel comfortable in my shell.

I entertain the idea of returning to Sg from time to time (& I don't mean return for a visit). But I know apart from my parents, there's really nothing for me to return to. I think it's the same for Jon. Only that in his mind, there's nothing holding him in Norway either. He's depressed but I don't know what I can say to make him feel better. I can only send prayers his way, that may he find the happiness he's searching for & may peace fills his heart. Before we ended our conversation, he told me this.

"I suppose there is no greener grass. Both sides of the fence has dog poop on it."

Yep, he's right. I guess we'll just have to stand where there is lesser poop then.

The Capricorn

I came across this article on horoscopes. Though I usually take such things with a pinch of salt, I have to say that every single part of it is accurate. The only thing is, I've been proven that bad 1st impressions are salvageable. When S joined my previous company, I really disliked her. I found her to be a nonsensical joker. Always, always cracking jokes. Too noisy & too much for me. She's 1 of my closest friends & 1 of the very few I still keep in touch with from my previous company. Every joy, every fear & every unhappy event in my life here, I share with her & Dolly. She's still full of nonsense but I now laugh along.

The original page is here. I'm a Capricorn & I'll try my best translating the text for my horoscope into English. (My translation skills aren't that fantastic.)

Capricorn

The Capricorn, though appears to be cold, is actually a very passionate, kind soul who finds it difficult to reject others, especially when it's someone who matters to them. When stung, Capricorn tends to run away rather than face the challenge. He/she doesn't take well to criticism & the way through them is the soft approach. They have a gigantic temper but often is directed at the act rather than the person. Capricorn is a very practical star & prefers a simple life to a lavish 1. In love, they don't need romantic maneuvers that sweep them off their feet. That's becoz they know regardless of vows or promises, anything can happen & they make sure that they're prepared for it. 

When they need help, they'll not push it if the other party they've requested help from seems to be in a dilemma. They feel that whatever it is that was entrusted to them is their responsibility in the 1st place. Therefore, they'll not make any attempts to persuade or coerce the other party & seek to get it done themselves. 

Their super sensitive nature is never on display. In fact, they hated themselves for it. They take it personally if they're told they didn't do something right, even if it's in a joking manner. Immediately, they'll worry that is it something they didn't do well or did wrongly & subsequently be sucked down into despair by their worries. This incites the displeasure of their partner. In reality, Capricorns don't want things to turn out this way. It's just a character flaw that they tend to think too much. 

When Capricorns come to dislike somebody, that feeling is absolute. They don't take offence or bear grudges easily unless the offender has gone overboard. So when their anger is stoked, this person will lose all his/her standing in the Capricorn's heart & he/she better be prepared for their wrath. 

Characteristics of Capricorn

They're super forgetful. They forget even the most important things. They're pessimists & perfectionists, a somewhat bad combination. Therefore, they appear mildly obsessive & compulsive. They're easily moved, very thoughtful & they're not calculative individuals. There're no shades of gray, just definite right or wrong in their dictionary. They seek to be recognized & they want trust to be placed on them. They're often without ulterior motives & hates it when people do. Their character tends to be a bit extreme & they're mildly hermitic. They're very big on 1st impressions & these impressions usually stick.

The Heart Speaks

Mowing the lawn took longer than expected. I had to go over the same strip several times to get all of the crab grass. Then I realized I had nothing to sweep up the cut grass strewn all across the lawn to 1 corner so that I can scoop them up. So I left them on the lawn like my landlord did. Lol. Amateur at work. It's just like when I 1st started cooking. I'll get halfway through the process before making the realization that I should have done something else 1st. Like put the rice to be cooked 1st before cooking the dishes. Or in some, soak the rice 1st before preparing the ingredients. With experience, comes mastery. While I've overcame these issues in cooking, I have a lot to trial & error when it comes to gardening.

After mowing the lawn, I worked on the garden bed. I stabbed my finger on the rose bush thorns while grabbing a handful of crab grass. I thought my fingers were clear but I guess not. I stopped after 2 hours & went into the house to rest up. Spent time reading with Ton Ton lying in my lap. It doesn't get better than this. You know you're on the right track when you've earned the love of a dog.

I know for sure that if 1 day I own a place, I'll never have lawns put in. While this incident is unfortunate, it isn't why I'm put off about lawns. Gardening has never been an interest of mine. I fear bugs, worms, creepy crawlies. You can't rationalize phobias. It's just like how some people are so fearful of blood they faint at the sight of it. Or how some people absolutely freaked out when they're about to be pricked, for blood taking or injection or intravenous cannulation. I can say the pain only lasts for seconds but to that person, nothing can placate them. I'm also the type who puts low maintenance at the top of my priority. So you will never find me with white walls, white furniture or fittings. A lawn is a super high maintenance thing. Well, perhaps so becoz I'm not allowed to use chemicals to control the weeds in this rental place. But still, the grubs, millipedes, centipedes, spiders, flies, bees & such puts me off. Flies are a nuisance but I freak out even when my skin comes in contact with spider webs. I can't even pick up the caterpillar that got into the house with tissue paper. It's non contact. The tissue serves as a barrier but yet when I tried & felt the shape of the caterpillar through the tissue, I just couldn't proceed. So yeah, irrational but yet insurmountable to me.

This whole thing taught me a lot about what is acceptable to me & not. So it's kinda like a blessing in disguise. I know my place will either have artificial lawns or just paved over. I'm leaning towards paving over so I can throw soapy water over & scrub it. Everyone has different definition of pleasure. I want to spend my time off on things I find pleasurable doing. Reading, trying out new recipes & maybe even go back to writing. Not spending hours upon hours doing something that can never be completed. Better to find out now than to commit to ownership of a place I know I cannot maintain.

Long Long Weekend

We don't have a list tomorrow & Monday's a PH which means extra long weekend. Hubs has to work tomorrow so I'm going to resume working on the weeds again.

I haven't done anything to the weeds coz hubs made me promise I won't work on it for a few days until I'm fully recovered. The break makes me nervous coz I don't like procrastinating something that I've been given a deadline on. But we had a huge row over this problem 2 weeks ago & I just felt nothing is worth damaging our relationship for. I understand where he comes from. He doesn't want me to work so much on the lawn coz I had that repetitive stress injury & severe back pain from pulling out the weeds manually previously. (The back pain was from an old sprain I sustained few years ago while at work & remaining in the same position for a period as short as 30 mins causes me pain.)

The grub killer has been in since last Sunday. But I can't really tell if it's working since I haven't been out on the lawn. I'll mow the crab grass down with our newly bought mower & work on the garden bed. Hubs has been clearing the garden bed a little at a time for the past 2 days. What we discovered is that the mulch that the landlord put in before we moved in is so thin that they're barely there. That's probably why there's so much weeds also coz I've been told the mulch not only serves as a deterrent for the sand to be blown all over the place, it also prevents weeds. So we got to top up the mulch. This is turning out to be really costly. I'm sure what we spent on the lawn is our 2 months worth of grocery money. But let's just get it done.

Been chanting about this problem. Through chanting, I can see why we reacted so strongly. Becoz the landlord didn't make requests. They made demands & (I won't say everybody but) most people don't appreciate demands. I did say that we'll try to pull out the crab grass once they're dead coz it'll be easier. Then he asked me what do we intend to do about the holes left behind. Without waiting for an answer, he wanted me to get the couch seeds to pour into the holes 1 by 1 to regrow the couch there. (I was told the couch will grow back anyway which is what happened to the front lawn that I manually did the weeding on.) I intend to get it anyway for areas that can't be saved. Anyway, I did manage to find enough peace to pray for them. I shall try my very best not to be too affected regardless of what they say when they come down. Coz I know this problem can be settled. We just need time for everything to work. Even if they continue to put pressure on us, some things just can't be rushed.

Caught A Bug

I realised I left out some more details but I was too sick yesterday to update my blog. I slept early on Sunday night & developed severe nausea at 12 mn, followed by bodyaches that kept me mostly awake. I contemplated skipping work coz the pain was so bad I couldn't even sit up. But I took synflex, the only painkiller I have at home & went to work anyway. While at work, I took 2 different types of anti emetics for my nausea when the 1st type didn't work. Then I took another 2 different types of painkillers. Even then, I still had aches everywhere. I think if I didn't take any, I probably won't even be able to maintain an upright position.

Anyway, we were instructed by the gardener to just mow the crab grass down right? You know what the landlord suggested? He wanted us to get Round Up in gel form & apply it on the blades of the grass 1 by 1. When it dies, we should pull them out 1 by 1. (Round Up gel is a type of weed killer that works when you apply it to the leaves of the weeds. Becoz it's applied only to the weeds, surrounding grass won't die.) I'm going to post a picture of the back lawn so you can see how unreasonable the request is. They insisted we get a gardener in to advise us on the crab grass. But after we've done that, they insisted that we follow their method instead of the gardener's. Then why get the gardener in the 1st place?

He kept saying it wouldn't have come to this if we had taken care of the weeds in the 1st place. We've moved in for 4 months only. I did the weeding but how was I to know I should get rid of the crab grass along with the weeds? We've never encountered weeds in our lives. We did the best we can, even hiring a gardener as per requested. Hubs is livid. He wanted me to ask when they're coming again coz he wanted to make sure he's at home to talk to them. But knowing him, he may lose his cool & things may turn ugly.

I know from my Buddhist studies that difficult circumstances polishes our lives. I'm trying my hardest not to let anger rule me & to just concentrate on the problem. But it's really hard. 1 thing for sure, we're out of here the moment our lease ends.

So there. How do you propose that I apply Round Up gel to every single 1 of these crab grass?

Gardener Says

Just received a call from my landlord. They wanted to know what I've done with regards to the weeds & have I engaged a gardener. They want to come down for another inspection next week.

Recap on what has been happening. The gardener came on Thursday morning when we were all away at work. He called hubs & told him that what we have is crab grass & it's a type of winter grass. It'll die off naturally when the temperature becomes higher. As long as we keep it short with regular mowing, it'll prevent it from seeding & from the problem recurring next winter. The issue with the lawn not thriving well is due to the presence of garden grubs that are eating the roots, therefore killing the lawn.

The priority is to get grub killer applied to the lawn, then spray the lawn with weed killer & fertilise it every 3 months to maintain it. The garden bed needs to be sprayed & a thick layer of mulch applied & resprayed with weed killers every 2 weeks.

This info I relate to my landlord. But I get the feeling that they're putting the pressure on to get it done by the time they come down again. I tried to hint that it's going to be raining for the next few days so we're very unlikely to get anything done. But seems like they're not accepting that as an "excuse" & wants us to mow the crab grass down asap. Then he jumped to the garden bed that's full of the crab grass as well.

Ok, I get you. We'll hand pull the crab grass from the garden bed as quickly as we can even if it means working in the rain. Coz the lawn has grub killer applied to it & needs a repeat application in 10 days. Then we have to wait 2 weeks before weed killer can be applied. Hubs is really in a foul mood after hearing all this. I tried my best & we've spent hundreds of dollars trying to fix up the lawn. I really don't know what else they want from us.

2nd Accident In Less Than 5 Months

Can you believe it? I hardly can. It's only been 4 months & 1 week since we arrived in Perth & I've already gotten into my 2nd accident. It really doesn't matter how safely you drive. If other road users aren't driving safely, accidents still happen.

I was on my way to work this morning when it happened just before 6.30 am. It was totally bright already so it wasn't a visibility problem. I was driving on the main road, keeping left, approaching a T junction. A black Mazda 3 just came out without stopping to wait for traffic aka me to clear. It was too late to brake (that's how near I was) so my reaction was to swerve to the right. But I couldn't avoid her & she hit me on the left rear side.

We drove a bit further down away from the T junction & exchanged particulars. She asked me whose fault was it. She said she didn't even see me. I said the car beside her didn't proceed coz they were coming out from a side street onto the main road & they have to give way. I noticed that she had a green P plate sticker on her windscreen. So perhaps that's why. She doesn't have insurance which I later heard from my CNM that insurance for P platers are very expensive & their excess very high. Hence, some people will choose not to have insurance.

We were just done when a guy in his ute drove past & yelled out to us, "Get off the road man!" Geez. Can't you see that we've just had an accident? We couldn't have stopped for more than 5 mins. I considered taking the day off but that will mean losing $300 of income so I continued driving to work with the left side of my bumper unhinged. It wasn't dragging the ground & it didn't come off even with the drive back home. Hubs reattached the bumper for me but I'm left with scratches on that part of the bumper & my left rear tire. I'm just thinking is it worth going through the hassle contacting my insurance company & bringing it down to their workshop.

I've decided to invest in a car camera so in the event I rear end someone, I have evidence. Coz on the drive home, I encountered several more incidents. The car in front of me was very far from the car in front of him but he kept braking hard for no apparent reason other than trying to cause me to hit him. Then there were 4 incidents where drivers turned out onto the road I was on even though it was very obvious they will not clear, causing me to brake hard. So having the camera will protect me when I'm not at fault in the event of an accident.

Too Much Too Fast

I knew something was not right when I couldn't even grip my toothbrush properly this morning. I don't need a doctor to tell me that I've got repetitive stress injury. I can't squeeze toiletries bottles for shampoo or shower gel. Thankfully I still can write & scrub.

I probably overdid the weeding with 12 hours over 4 days. Well, I'll be getting 2 days break coz I worked late today & will be again tomorrow. Can't be weeding when it's all dark out right? I looked out the backyard yesterday & was horrified to see that the weeds have grown several inches since my landlord mowed the lawn 6 days ago. I'm not joking. They were flushed against the ground after the mowing last Wednesday & they're at least 6 inches tall as of yesterday afternoon. I feel like crap coz I know this is not something I can get solved no matter how many more hours I put into pulling out the weeds manually.

I'm so so so damn tempted to just get Weed n Feed. A colleague gave me the number to a guy who does her lawn. So I'm currently on the queue to have my lawn assessed. I'm definitely not stopping him if he wants to spray weed killers on the lawn. As hubs say, who are we to tell the gardener how to do his job?

Weeding Is Good Exercise

Why do I say that? When I go jogging after a long hiatus, I get muscle aches in my thighs. Going down the stairs & squatting will be difficult. Weeding is a different thing all together. It's definitely not aerobic exercise so it can only be anaerobic aka resistance training. I spent 2 hours on Friday weeding the back lawn & was only successful clearing merely 1 by 1 metre of the lawn. Yup, the weeds are that saturated. The forecast of rain didn't disappoint for the weekend. I don't think it'll disappoint for the rest of next week as well. Still, I managed to put in 4.5 hours weeding the front lawn on Saturday. (It's way smaller than the back lawn so it feels more surmountable.) I continued even though it started drizzling, seeking shelter only when it started pouring. I considered skipping Soka meeting today to make the best use of the dry weather before it started raining again. But I shook myself out of that train of thought. Nothing should take precedence over faith. Not even the possibility of the landlord coming down on me for not working on the lawn. I'm glad I attended.

Today's topic was on 2nd SGI president Josei Todai's admonishment about the use of nuclear weapons. It wasn't becoz his homeland of Japan was bombed, leading to the end of WW2. But becoz he valued life tremendously. In fact, he & 1st SGI president Tsunesaburo Makiguchi protested against the emperor for wanting to invade other countries, leading to WW2. For that, they were thrown in jail, culminating in Mr Tsunesaburo's death in jail. Mr Josei was eventually released from jail but in a frail condition. Then we went on to discuss on the fundamental darkness that exists in everybody's life. The main teaching in Nichiren Buddhism is to work to challenge & overcome our evil tendencies. (So I always say Nichiren Buddhism is not a religion. We don't pray to a higher being to answer our prayers. We seek what is inside, mustering the will & strength to overcome our problems.) It releases me from whatever negative feelings I've been having over the recent events. I found peace once again.

Back to topic. I started off squatting but there's only so long I can squat. After I could no longer remain squatting, I knelt to do the weeding. When I could no longer kneel, I sat on the lawn. I don't ever sit on grass not becoz I think it's dirty but becoz I'm terribly fearful of creepy crawlies. The lawn is full of grubs, millipedes & centipedes. I will absolutely freak if they climb onto me. But I had to continue & sitting is the only option left. My knees are bruised & swollen from all that kneeling. It's so bad I can't even climb into bed. (That's how I've been getting in bed this way since young so I do it without conscious effort, only remembering when pain starts shooting from my knees.) My index fingers are both swollen & I can hardly bend them. Weeding really is hard work, especially when they've been allowed 4 months to establish their roots. I joked to hubs that by the time I'm done, I will be so experienced that I can advertise to do weeding on the weekends for people who need the extra hand for $20/hr. Lol.

I managed to put in another 3 hours of weeding for the front lawn when I got home from the meeting. All in all, 7.5 hours of weeding yet there're still plenty of weeds left. I can't even begin to think of the back lawn which is at least 4 times the size of the front lawn. This is not something I can complete within a week. It'll probably take be at least 2 months to get them all out by myself. I'm doing the 6.30 am shift tomorrow & probably won't be home till dark. But I'm off on Tuesday as there aren't any surgeries so I can put in the whole day if the weather stays dry. I made the decision to spread the Lawn Builder to the front lawn since most of the bigger weeds are out. I then watered the lawn with diluted Seasol to dissolve the granules. The subsequent rain helped me in that as well. The packaging states that I will start seeing results 2 days from application. So let's see if the lawn is indeed greener & healthier on Tuesday.

Jogging produces aching thighs. Weeding on the other hand, produces aching neck, shoulders, back, arms, thighs, calves & gluts. So I guess in that sense, weeding works more muscle groups than jogging.

Human Revolution

好心不一定会有好报。我们不用寻求好报。只求一份安心, 问心无愧。

Suddenly feeling a bit poetic. Lol. It's a reminder to myself to live by this rule. This is what I have to improve on. My human revolution.

Mystery Solved

I finished work early today & got home at 2 pm. I set off to work immediately on the lawn. What surprised me was that the weeds were not that bad. Unless you count the ones I call SG grass (coz they look exactly like the grass we have in SG). My landlord previously told me that it is grass & we can just leave it. So I thought to myself, "What the heck! I'll just pull out every damn thing that doesn't look like couch or whatever the breed of the lawn is." Even my landlord herself isn't sure what type of lawn she put in.

When hubs got home, I took a break to greet him at the door. Only then did I realised that it was already 4 pm. No wonder I felt giddy when I stood up. I had been kneeling & bending over the lawn for 2 hours!

I've asked colleagues & friends for advice on the state of the lawn. Everyone tells me to just apply the Feed n Weed. How will my landlord know? The next time they're here, all they'll see is lush green lawn without weeds. Getting a gardener in will cost us more per hour than what both our salaries combine. But I just feel that since they don't allow any weed killers on the lawn, then let's just not do it. We still need to solve the problem of the lawn not being very green. So I took a picture of the lawn, rip off a piece of the "grass" that my landlord said was grass & set off for Bunnings.

We got help from a staff & he confirmed that the so called "grass" is actually weed. No wonder the lawn isn't growing well. If I had known that was weed, I would have pulled them out like I did with the other weeds during my weekly weeding sessions. Mystery solved. But then the entire lawn is full of this "weed grass" so I'll be spending the entire weekend pulling them out. The staff recommended a fertiliser that contains wetting agent (becoz we have sand instead of soil) & told us to apply it after we're done with the weeding. So hopefully that'll work. Our damage's slightly cheaper than having a gardener for an hour. But that's becoz we bought a fertiliser spreader & a 9L watering can as well. I saw couch seeds for sale as well. If all else fails, I'll get that & regrow the lawn.

Knowing what the problem is lifted a weight off our shoulders. Hubs appears not to be so mad about the entire incident anymore. He told me "Oh well. Doesn't matter what you were told. That's in the past. Now we know better. Let's just get the thing done." I'm glad coz it's almost his birthday & I don't want this incident to dampen his spirits.

Weed Woes

Landlord came to mow the lawn today. They don't have to do it but they were kind enough to do it, else I'll be either doing it myself or hiring someone to get it done. Knowing that the lawn's overrun by weeds, I asked (via FB) if I can use Weed n Feed (as suggested by J). But they felt the weeding chemicals will kill the lawn & they would mow the lawn then let me know.

I feel that they were unhappy with the state of the lawn & told me that I will need to get the weeds under control & that the lawn is not thriving becoz of the weeds. I was told to hire a gardener to get the weeds problem fixed.

I'm gonna have to ask my colleague for recommendation as she gets someone to do it once in a while. I hope it's not going to cost me an arm & a leg. Back when I wasn't working, I'll spend time pulling them out 1 by 1 on a daily basis. But now I can only do it on the weekend & there's absolutely no way I can keep up with the growth. It takes me more than an hour to clear a tenth of the back lawn.

Oh well... if it has to be done, it has to be done. Just feeling kinda lousy not becoz of having to spend the money but becoz I feel that I've failed. It's alright. I'll never allow myself to be defeated. I'll bounce right back soon enough.

Milestone: 4 Months In Perth

4 months, a third of a year. I honestly didn't expect us to last this long. We're more or less settled in now. In the 4 months, we've experienced 3 seasons. Coming in autumn, all through winter & now spring. I miss meeting up with my girlfriends, I miss Puggy, I miss steamboat. Lol. Of course, I'm still daydreaming about having my parents over for a visit. 

I've kept myself busy tending to the herbs I'm growing. My initial success with basil, chives & coriander (rosemary's sprouting though very slowly) encouraged me to increase my variety of herbs to 8. I've just added mint, dill, thyme & sage to my collection over the weekend. I also bought a single piece of chilli for 64 cents just for the seeds to grow chilli. We didn't waste the chilli though, slicing it up & dumping it into our tom yum soup that night.

We bought a BBQ & it took the both of us 2 hours to fix up on Sunday. We'll put it to use soon enough. It's hub's birthday very soon. He doesn't want anything other than having a BBQ at home.

My daily dates with James Patterson has kept me away from writing or checking my emails, something I really must do soon. But once I got started on a book of his, I can't stop until I finish it. Then I'm off to the next & the cycle repeats itself.