The homepage on my Google Chrome is set to Yahoo which automatically routes it to Yahoo Singapore based on location. I browse through on a regular basis, watching out for news that catch my attention. Apart from the mystery of the missing MH370 which I'm no longer following, I read reports on several other aviation incidents in the span of less than 1 month. 1 plane was forced to make an emergency landing when its engine caught fire. Another was forced to turn back to the departing airport due to technical errors. Just in today, a Brazilian plane landed missing its front landing gear. When I searched for aviation accidents 2014, I turned up a list that were not reported in SG & we've just only completed our 1st quarter. I guess aviation incidents are more common than they've led us to believe. Sure, we're repeatedly told that we are more likely to die from a car accident but the keyword is fatality. Absence of fatality does not equate absence of accidents.
I used to watch Air Crash Investigation on cable. Discovery Channel if I didn't remember wrongly. It was a program that I'll faithfully watch. I was intrigued by the multiple factors that can lead to a disaster. I stopped watching when I cancelled my cable subscription. It never occurred to me to search for it on Youtube until recently. That explains why I've been missing from the internet for days in a row. Hubby thinks I'm morbid. Why watch something that generates even more fear than there already is? (He's very fearful of flying.) Well, he watches horror movies (by horror I meant ghosts) despite it triggering fear too. I don't for the same reasons he doesn't want to watch Air Crash Investigation. Granted, it's not the same thing but you get my drift. It's just something I'm wildly interested in, sort of like a hobby. An educational 1 albeit.
I've learnt that, you're more likely to survive a crash if you're seated at the back of the plane with a survival rate of 56%. In the middle of the plane, it goes down to 48% & by the time you get to the front of the plane, 42%. The odds aren't good to begin with, despite sitting in the back. Even if you survive the initial crash, you have to survive the fire (if any) & survive the escape to safe grounds.
Accidents are caused by a chain of events. If the mistakes were picked up at any of the stages, it would have broken the chain. But of course, unfortunately, they didn't. Pilot errors constitute more than 50% of all accidents, followed by mechanical fault at 20+%, weather & air traffic controllers at under 10%. When something goes wrong, pilots are the last line of defence. An experienced & well trained pilot is more likely to land the plane with minimal casualties. The program emphasises on paying attention during the safety video. I don't becoz they're similar. The only thing I do look out for the moment I'm seated is to look for the nearest exit & the location of the life vest under the seat in front of me.
Hubby has asked me if it's possible to travel by sea to Perth. I said, if a plane travelling at almost a thousand km per hour takes 5 hours to get there, then I'm sure we'll be on sea for a month. I did make him promise that he is under no circumstances allowed to travel by air without me. (He wanted to come back for a friend's wedding in November even if I'm not able to take leave.) He doesn't buckle his seat belt while cruising & we all know how important that is right? I whispered to him while watching Non Stop at the cinema last week, "See, that's why you have to keep the seat belt on all the time." when Liam Neeson was thrown into the air, slamming into the plane's roof & subsequently floor when the plane dipped. I don't know if we can increase our survival rates despite all these knowledge. Ultimately, I guess it all boils down to whether our time is up.
Sunday, 30 March 2014
Thursday, 27 March 2014
Just 2 Souls Dancing
As usual, my parents watched 爱 in the living room. I on the other hand have absolutely no interest & I was contented playing with Ton on the sofa. When the show ended, a documentary came on. As fate would have it, it was a local show on correcting behavioural problems in kids. A couple was having trouble with their 3 year old boy who for the past 1 year hits & kicks them. A professor in childhood psychology was asked to intervene. She did the assessment & interviewed the parents in her house. She told them that they need to check the unwanted behaviour the moment it manisfests itself even for a child as young as 2. He has to be taught that hands & legs are not meant for kicking & hitting people. This has to be done on the spot as it would no longer be relevant if you wait say for a more suitable time or location.
I was stunned. I don't have kids. I've never read any of the parenting books before. So how on earth did my ideal teaching method be the same as an expert in the field be the same? I guess I can only credit it to having to teach puppies. When I chose to have a dog, I chose a puppy. I've got no experience with dogs & a puppy is a clean sheet of paper. Easier to imprint on them on what is allowed & what isn't. I would know at this stage coz we acquired Wang in adulthood. House training is impossible. The best we could do is to outdoor train him. Even till now, 7 years later, he still refuses to go on the pee tray, choosing to pee on the floor when he absolutely has to go despite knowing that he'll be punished for it.
The moment I brought the 1.2 kg bundle of white fur whom I already knew I'll named Ton Ton, the boundaries had already been set. I loved him to bits. Whose heart wouldn't melt at the sight of this super adorable but scared to death puppy? But having done my research, I knew puppies will do their business within minutes of a meal. So I placed him on the pee tray till he did & rewarded him with a treat for a job well done. There were lapses which I promptly punished. By punished, I meant caned. He took 2 weeks to be house trained & 4 weeks to be really reliable unsupervised.
The 1st night Ton came into my life, I kept him in his playpen in the kitchen. I expected hin to bark & whine from separation anxiety. He didn't disappoint. I ignored him even though he kept me up the whole night. He was quiet from the 2nd night onwards. A fast learner he is. If I had gone to comfort him, I would reinforce to him that being anxious, barking & whining will get him the comfort he craves, leading to a lifelong separation anxiety problem. Be hard hearted for a few nights at the most & you'll have a well adjusted dog for the rest of his life. A pretty good tradeoff if you asked me.
A few months after Ton became part of the family, I heard a dog with severe separation anxiety somehow strangled himself on a leash or something while the owners were out. At a lesser extend, I've heard dogs tearing the house apart.
Of course, not all dogs are the same. I acquired Puggy a year later. He was a vocal & stubborn dog. House training alone took 6 months. He was too ill behaved despite the canings. I took him to obedience training where I learnt to use the choke chain to correct undesirable behaviours. I'm aware some people are very against the use of choke and pronged chains, calling it cruel. Again, if you can just bring yourself to be hard hearted for a short period of time, you'll a be rewarded with a well behaved dog. Besides, you're not asphyxiating the dog. You're giving the chain a sharp but short tug. Try it on your arm. It doesn't hurt.
The outcome? Do the dogs hate me for being so harsh on them? On the contrary, they're the closest to me. They get all excited when I come home. They don't when my parents do even though they dote on them the most & don't discipline them at all. When they're unwell, it's me they seek. They're the happiest when I'm the 1 bringing them for a walk even though I check them all the time for the entire duration, something my dad doesn't do. I refused to let Ton sniff too long at a spot & insists he walks my planned route when he keeps wanting to go where he wants to. Puggy is a wonder to walk thanks to his obedience training. He'll never pull on the leash, always keeping in pace with me. He doesn't get distracted by birds or cats unlike Ton. Best of all, he keeps trotting away despite another dog being in the vicinity all the while with the other dog barking at him & the owner struggling to stop his/her dog from dashing over.
What I'm left with are friends whom I can really enjoy & who enjoys me. I don't see them as my kids like some dog owners do. They're soul mates & I see our souls dancing together in a meadow, having the time of our life.
Tuesday, 25 March 2014
Distracted By Novels
Spent the last couple of days re-reading the Twilight series so have been away from the internet. That's how I get when I start reading. I simply can't stop. I even did not play Maplestory if it means anything. I could play for hours on end. Lol. I'm on the 3rd book, Eclipse, now. Will you be surprised if I say I still take out my Fear Street series on & off for a fast read?
I was telling Dolly & Sharon that people who are the only child is often weird. Perhaps weird is the wrong word to use. I think difficulty conversing & maintaining relationships with others is a more accurate description. Eh, perhaps it's just me. Perhaps I'm the only weird only child nearby.
This started off as a personal journal/online diary thingy. Something for me to read back on in the future, just like I did with my old physical diaries. That was what prompted me to write again. To have an insight on my thoughts many years down the road would be valuable.
Alright, then. Perhaps I'll have different thoughts in the future on this issue. I wrote on FB an incident we witnessed where a 7 or 8 year old kid told his mom to shut up (& I don't mean in a jokingly or nice way) when she refused to buy a toy that he wanted. I said if you don't know how to bring up a kid then don't. Coz there're enough brats & the society does not need another one. This prompted a heated exchange with an ex-poly mate. I suspected the reason that she reacted extremely strongly is becoz her son is ill-behaved & she confirmed it in her next reply. I didn't want to reply anymore coz there was simply no point. I'm entitled to my opinions & you yours. I respect yours & I'm not going to force mine down your throat. I'll get to that in a while. But it escalated into a racist attack type of argument then. I used racist attack as a description becoz from the videos I've watched on verbal racist attack, it usually started off with 1 person & others seeing the opportunity come up, joined in.
Real friends, without saying a word or having me to explain what I meant, understood what I was trying to say. Another 2 ex-poly friends immediately texted me, asking if I was alright & if I was hurt by the comments. 1 of them is a mother of 2 mind you. So I said I was alright but I was only worried that she too, took offence with what I said. It touched me when she said she wasn't offended & she understood what I was trying to get at. From our group chat, it was also evident that Dolly & Sharon understood. I felt really fortunate. Real friends are hard to come by & I had 4.
This explanation is for me 10 years years down the road. I wonder if my perceptions would have changed, if at all. Everyone knows how strongly I feel about responsible pet ownership. If you're not convinced that you will provide the necessary healthcare, training, lifelong commitment & love, then don't get a pet. It is absolutely unacceptable to me if you gave excuses such as you had a baby, the dog's aggressive, the dog's grown too big, the dog is too rough etc to abandon the dog. Just like Cesar Millan said, with the right training, a dog will grow to be well adjusted and most importantly, happy.
Now, what is it to me if you raised a brat anyway? You're the 1 having to face the music, not me. Similarly, I feel very strongly about parenthood. It is not something you jump into on a whim or becoz everyone's getting pregnant or your biological time is up. You want a kid, you're responsible for his upbringing, discipline, moral values, respect for others etc. God knows many (way too many) kids in Singapore have none of these. I have no confidence that I can bring up a kid who will turn out differently & that is why I've put it off despite me being 31 this year. You can say never try, never know. But this a life that we're talking about here. Not some soft toy that you can throw away when you're sick of it. Not some super duper expensive University course that you can drop out of when you find that you can't make it. What did you lose? Just money which you can earn back. Can you redeem your child's life back once he took the wrong step? Why do you want to wait until it's too late to do something? To me, if you're unwilling to be the "bad" parent, then don't have any kids. It was at the mother's lack of action that angered me. Oh, it's wrong to discipline in public. Is it? Discipline works the best when delivered on the spot. & why do people automatically assume discipline means scold or slap? Checking the behaviour & reasoning is disciplining too. Then at necessary times, you just have to be harsh, even if it hurts you.
That was why I had no inclination of replying becoz she got me all wrong. She kept saying no matter how she discipline her son, he is still very ill-behaved & does that make her a bad mother? Does that mean she cannot have kids? My point was, if you don't discipline. If you do, fine. Does the kid having no respect for his mother means the mother does not discipline him in private? If she did from young, she'll have a kid who is well adjusted & respectful of her. Like many others I've seen & met. They're always a pleasure to watch even if I don't interact with them. Did you get me right or did you get me wrong?
I was telling Dolly & Sharon that people who are the only child is often weird. Perhaps weird is the wrong word to use. I think difficulty conversing & maintaining relationships with others is a more accurate description. Eh, perhaps it's just me. Perhaps I'm the only weird only child nearby.
This started off as a personal journal/online diary thingy. Something for me to read back on in the future, just like I did with my old physical diaries. That was what prompted me to write again. To have an insight on my thoughts many years down the road would be valuable.
Alright, then. Perhaps I'll have different thoughts in the future on this issue. I wrote on FB an incident we witnessed where a 7 or 8 year old kid told his mom to shut up (& I don't mean in a jokingly or nice way) when she refused to buy a toy that he wanted. I said if you don't know how to bring up a kid then don't. Coz there're enough brats & the society does not need another one. This prompted a heated exchange with an ex-poly mate. I suspected the reason that she reacted extremely strongly is becoz her son is ill-behaved & she confirmed it in her next reply. I didn't want to reply anymore coz there was simply no point. I'm entitled to my opinions & you yours. I respect yours & I'm not going to force mine down your throat. I'll get to that in a while. But it escalated into a racist attack type of argument then. I used racist attack as a description becoz from the videos I've watched on verbal racist attack, it usually started off with 1 person & others seeing the opportunity come up, joined in.
Real friends, without saying a word or having me to explain what I meant, understood what I was trying to say. Another 2 ex-poly friends immediately texted me, asking if I was alright & if I was hurt by the comments. 1 of them is a mother of 2 mind you. So I said I was alright but I was only worried that she too, took offence with what I said. It touched me when she said she wasn't offended & she understood what I was trying to get at. From our group chat, it was also evident that Dolly & Sharon understood. I felt really fortunate. Real friends are hard to come by & I had 4.
This explanation is for me 10 years years down the road. I wonder if my perceptions would have changed, if at all. Everyone knows how strongly I feel about responsible pet ownership. If you're not convinced that you will provide the necessary healthcare, training, lifelong commitment & love, then don't get a pet. It is absolutely unacceptable to me if you gave excuses such as you had a baby, the dog's aggressive, the dog's grown too big, the dog is too rough etc to abandon the dog. Just like Cesar Millan said, with the right training, a dog will grow to be well adjusted and most importantly, happy.
Now, what is it to me if you raised a brat anyway? You're the 1 having to face the music, not me. Similarly, I feel very strongly about parenthood. It is not something you jump into on a whim or becoz everyone's getting pregnant or your biological time is up. You want a kid, you're responsible for his upbringing, discipline, moral values, respect for others etc. God knows many (way too many) kids in Singapore have none of these. I have no confidence that I can bring up a kid who will turn out differently & that is why I've put it off despite me being 31 this year. You can say never try, never know. But this a life that we're talking about here. Not some soft toy that you can throw away when you're sick of it. Not some super duper expensive University course that you can drop out of when you find that you can't make it. What did you lose? Just money which you can earn back. Can you redeem your child's life back once he took the wrong step? Why do you want to wait until it's too late to do something? To me, if you're unwilling to be the "bad" parent, then don't have any kids. It was at the mother's lack of action that angered me. Oh, it's wrong to discipline in public. Is it? Discipline works the best when delivered on the spot. & why do people automatically assume discipline means scold or slap? Checking the behaviour & reasoning is disciplining too. Then at necessary times, you just have to be harsh, even if it hurts you.
That was why I had no inclination of replying becoz she got me all wrong. She kept saying no matter how she discipline her son, he is still very ill-behaved & does that make her a bad mother? Does that mean she cannot have kids? My point was, if you don't discipline. If you do, fine. Does the kid having no respect for his mother means the mother does not discipline him in private? If she did from young, she'll have a kid who is well adjusted & respectful of her. Like many others I've seen & met. They're always a pleasure to watch even if I don't interact with them. Did you get me right or did you get me wrong?
Thursday, 20 March 2014
Idle Ramblings
Sharon was telling me yesterday that an ex-colleague was pestering her for information about me, gloating about the fact that I've not been able to land a job in Australia. (Sharon is also my ex-colleague though I consider her to be a friend.) Naturally, I was peeved. During my degree days, not wanting to ask me directly, she would pester another colleague for my results. I had to ensure I put in sufficient efforts to get straight distinctions coz it was my ticket to Australia. Upon knowing that my results were better than hers, she would pass comments like, "Can pass can already. I'm not aiming for high score anyway." Sure, I make comparisons all the time but not to this extend. Comparison is justifiable only when using it to propel yourself to greater heights. Of course, I've already gotten over it. But it all the more certain make me want to prove myself, that I'm capable of success & that I'm not returning to SG with my tail between my legs.
We've finally made the booking a one way ticket milestone. I had no choice but to book it for 2nd May due to delays with Ton Ton's export. I was instructed to get vaccination & microchipping done for him. So I brought him for normal vaccination when in fact he requires rabies shot as well. The personnel only told me as I made a trip to Pet Movers last week. Ton can only go for blood tests 1 month after the rabies shot & another 2 weeks wait for the results before he's cleared for export. Dang! So for those looking to bring dogs over, remember the normal & rabies vaccinations.
I've gotten my passport changed & now realised what a hassle it is to update the Australian Immigration Dept. Printing & filling up the form is not a problem at all. Photocopying the passport & get it certified true copy is. Travelling to CBD just to get a signature & stamp gets to me coz it means spending 1.5 hrs on the road just to get there. Grr... My only comfort is that once this is settled, I don't have to worry about my passport for another 5 years.
I was just thinking, if the value of our flat at the end of the 99 year lease is 0, shouldn't we sell it soon? So in reality, there are no assets in SG. Having a flat is a liability since the value will just dwindle away. Something to really consider...
We've finally made the booking a one way ticket milestone. I had no choice but to book it for 2nd May due to delays with Ton Ton's export. I was instructed to get vaccination & microchipping done for him. So I brought him for normal vaccination when in fact he requires rabies shot as well. The personnel only told me as I made a trip to Pet Movers last week. Ton can only go for blood tests 1 month after the rabies shot & another 2 weeks wait for the results before he's cleared for export. Dang! So for those looking to bring dogs over, remember the normal & rabies vaccinations.
I've gotten my passport changed & now realised what a hassle it is to update the Australian Immigration Dept. Printing & filling up the form is not a problem at all. Photocopying the passport & get it certified true copy is. Travelling to CBD just to get a signature & stamp gets to me coz it means spending 1.5 hrs on the road just to get there. Grr... My only comfort is that once this is settled, I don't have to worry about my passport for another 5 years.
I was just thinking, if the value of our flat at the end of the 99 year lease is 0, shouldn't we sell it soon? So in reality, there are no assets in SG. Having a flat is a liability since the value will just dwindle away. Something to really consider...
Saturday, 1 March 2014
Peace & Gratitude
I was on the bus, on my way to meet my NYP mates & it got me thinking. I stared out the window, enjoying & really seeing the scenery as it passed by. I was no longer in the board-the-bus-grab-a-seat-fall-asleep stupor like I was in my sleep deprived days. This was the most significant improvement in my life after quitting my job & thereby getting sufficient sleep at night. I have more energy, I eat better (becoz I actually have time to plan my meals) & definitely happier despite the nagging worry from the lack of income. What I value most is the return of the peace that has eluded me for many years.
Some of us have not met since we graduated which was 11 years ago. Yet the conversations flowed as if time had stood still. I think that's the beauty of true friends. No amount of time passed can dilute the friendship & 感情 between us. The same could be said of a few of my now ex-colleagues. 1 of whom left the company 2 years before I did. Not forgetting my secondary school mates, Jon & Sam, with Jon far far away in Norway.
I'm a socially awkward person. I don't make friends easily as I make people feel uncomfortable with my silence. Therefore, I'm filled with gratitude to have made true friends at various stages of my life & I'm forever thankful that these people have honour me with their friendship.
Some of us have not met since we graduated which was 11 years ago. Yet the conversations flowed as if time had stood still. I think that's the beauty of true friends. No amount of time passed can dilute the friendship & 感情 between us. The same could be said of a few of my now ex-colleagues. 1 of whom left the company 2 years before I did. Not forgetting my secondary school mates, Jon & Sam, with Jon far far away in Norway.
I'm a socially awkward person. I don't make friends easily as I make people feel uncomfortable with my silence. Therefore, I'm filled with gratitude to have made true friends at various stages of my life & I'm forever thankful that these people have honour me with their friendship.
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