Leaving People & Memories Behind

I worked my last day on Chinese New Year eve, 30th Jan. As usual, I took bus 75, alighted at Outram & made my way through the mortuary to SNEC. It would be my last time walking this exact same route that I've taken for the past few years. I felt so emotional. The bad memories no longer weigh me down. Replaced by a feeling of 捨不得. I will miss knowing my work at my finger tips, anticipating & passing the correct instruments to the surgeon for the most complicated surgery even before they ask for it. But most importantly, I will miss the people who made me laugh through the worst of days. I will miss the complaining-about-work sessions with the girls.

We had reunion dinner with my extended family. We chatted at length about my move to Australia. My aunt again was the only 1 fully supportive of my decision, telling me to go for it when I'm young. I don't know when I'll be able to attend another reunion dinner again. So it felt so important to me. I avoided reunion dinner for a couple of years after my divorce. I felt so shameful that I had 1 & I didn't want to see or face anybody. That was pretty silly of me.

Then, we had lunch at my MIL's place on 初一. We stayed till it was almost time to head to Alan's (hubby's friend) place for the annual gathering. It was a bad choice really. Hubby's relatives on his mom's side came over & I got really worked up over his cousin's treatment of his wife. His cousin's wife does not talk at all at all gatherings becoz her husband wouldn't allow it. If she says something wrong, she'll get it when she gets home. So over the years, she stopped interacting altogether. Her self worth must have been withered down to nothing for her to behave this way. It's really none of my business but I just cannot stand a man who does not respect his wife. I didn't say anything until we left & then I ranted incessantly to hubby.

We only meet with hubby's friends once a year but I feel their sincerity. I always enjoy & look forward to meeting up with them. They're really decent people even if by Singapore's standard, majority of them are lowly educated as O levels holder. It just goes to show that education level has nothing to do with a person's character. Singapore's biggest flaw is its meritocrazy mindset. I don't think there's anything wrong with a "lowly" job so long as you're making a honest living.

Now that our plan to move to Australia is imminent, I can understand what Nix meant when he said he missed friends & family most. I totally feel it too.