On The Legally Binding Contract Called Marriage (Sg Context)

What is it that makes 50% of marriages fail? Having gone through a divorce myself, I should know right? Actually, I haven't got a clue. My best guess is that people are less willing to put up with the crap we deal out to each other these days. The new generation are also much less resilient. What do they do at the sign of serious trouble? Run for their life of course! This is evident in the work force. Facing problems at work? Not an issue. Quit, find a new job & repeat the process a few times. I would know because I used to be one of them. But I got sick & tired of running. I refused to be a coward anymore. I've never stayed at a work environment for more than a year & a half. I've been at my current for 3 & I know I'm gonna get that 5 year long service award. When I do leave, it's because of my plan to migrate to Australia. Anyway, back to the topic. People are more self centred these days. Gone are the 'us'. It's all about 'me'. I'm not going to care if marriage is supposed to be 'till death do us part'. All I know is that if I'm happier leaving this marriage, I'm gone. Afterall, why stay & be miserable for the rest of my life?

At the breaking point in my marriage, a colleague recommended that I read Willard F., Jr. Harley's His Needs Her Needs. He says that to keep a marriage alive, you have to keep the love alive. The book talks about fulfilling each other's top 5 needs to maintain a high balance in our love bank. I've gone on to read his other book, Love Busters which talks about habits that destroys the feeling of love. The books are great but we do have to remember that marriage takes 2 to tango. Efforts on one partner's part is simply not enough.

I'm none the wiser when it comes to keeping a relationship alive. But there's 1 thing I know for sure. It requires a never say die attitude. I know disappointments tend to snowball out of proportion. But if you're going to be giving up everytime that happens without actively seeking out solutions, then I'm sorry to say that you'll always be running. J. Lo said that she love herself enough to walk away when a man isn't treating her right. But I say, if everyone thinks that way, then divorce rates will be at 100%. That is why all these people marry so many times & divorce so many times! Your partner can never love you exactly the way you want him/her to. We can choose to see only the good and ignore the bad. This of course does not apply to problems with gambling, drugs use and whatnots. It's not easy but I've done that with Puggy. Well, that's a story for another day.