Diary Entry From 10 years ago (Now 11 years ago)

Extracted from my FB note, written on 25th July 2012.

I'm still in the process of throwing out junks & tidying up my house. I just dug out my diary from my teenage years. It was written on my birthday 10 years ago when I was just 19. As I read it, I'm swept away. I think I wrote better in my younger days. LOL.

1.59 am, 28th Dec 2002. Friday. Officially my birthday.

Here are the thoughts that pass through my mind on this very night, at this hour.

Sometimes, we fail to realise that they (artists) are humans too. We place them on a pedestal, treat them like a deity when in fact, they are just like us. The only thing that they have & we don't is fame.

I am a solitary person. I need more solitary time than most of my friends. I'm not that much of a thinker. But sometimes, you just need to stop & admire all that is around you. The beauty that you failed to appreciate. It opens me up to all sorts of possibilities. Most of the time, we're swept away by this fast paced world. I am guilty of it many a times. To be able to pen these down is easy. But to be fully aware of it is another thing.

I love to read. To possess those beautiful books. They are but sentences formed by words. But together, they weave beautiful tales. I am 19. The world doesn't feel any different. I don't feel any different from what I used to be. Another year is almost upon me, upon all of us. I can't continue to live in vain. So from the coming year on, I will draw up a list of things, goals to accomplish before the year is up. Things that are worth doing. But I guess on second thoughts, everything and everybody has its worth. I have to find mine before I can proceed. To find who I am. Do you know why I like to write? What I am not, I am in the tales I spin.

A striking contrast in entries for I have not been faithful in writing. Perhaps one day, I can read and experience once again the passages that I have passed, the growth that I have made.

I know, I'm a feeler. I often stop to feel the vast emotions coursing through my veins. It may be some scene that I saw or perhaps it's some lines I read from a certain book, or it may even be songs that I've heard a hundred times. At different junctions in my life, the same elements or the cocktails of these elements will strike a different cord in me.