Leave it to good old Jon to put it that way. Except for me, it's both figuratively & literally. Jon's a good friend of mine whom I've known since Sec 2. 17 years is a long time to know somebody. While we don't catch up as frequently as I do with Dolly & S, he'll always have a place in my heart. Jon's in Norway, his visa valid till December. He's having problems getting a job as being able to speak Norwegian is of paramount to employers. It's either return to Sg or get hitched. Thing is, he's not sure what it is he wants.
We sort of get each other since we're in a similar situation - being in a foreign land. We've talked about how we appreciate our family more now that we're away from them. How we miss Sg food & having access to these food at anytime of the day. I don't feel like I belong still. Australia doesn't feel like home. Yet. He spoke of similar sentiments, that the initial culture shock, followed by the teething problems living together with his partner puts him off living in Norway. He told me that it'll be nice to have friends again. But he's stuck in his shell & he feels alone. Coupled with a relationship he isn't certain of, he's got it bad. Just like he knows he should get out more, I just don't have that inclination. I feel comfortable in my shell.
I entertain the idea of returning to Sg from time to time (& I don't mean return for a visit). But I know apart from my parents, there's really nothing for me to return to. I think it's the same for Jon. Only that in his mind, there's nothing holding him in Norway either. He's depressed but I don't know what I can say to make him feel better. I can only send prayers his way, that may he find the happiness he's searching for & may peace fills his heart. Before we ended our conversation, he told me this.
"I suppose there is no greener grass. Both sides of the fence has dog poop on it."
Yep, he's right. I guess we'll just have to stand where there is lesser poop then.
Just wanted to share with you that, IMHO, the ups-and-downs (and doubts about whether migration was a right choice) is a challenge that many immigrants go through. If you compare my migration progress review at 6 months vs at 4 years, you'll notice the difference as time passes.
ReplyDeleteAt 6 months: http://winkingdoll.blogspot.ca/2011/04/migration-settling-in-progress-review.html
At 4 years: http://winkingdoll.blogspot.ca/2014/10/4-years-in-canada.html
Perhaps we both came from Singapore where we are used to fast turnaround time. But humans take time to adapt, be it to the weather, culture, language, etc. So IMHO, this is a good time as any give yourself a pat on the back for the progress that you've made to-date, and acknowledge that migration is like "re-building a life" -- it takes time to reap the rewards of one's effort.