The Heart Speaks

Mowing the lawn took longer than expected. I had to go over the same strip several times to get all of the crab grass. Then I realized I had nothing to sweep up the cut grass strewn all across the lawn to 1 corner so that I can scoop them up. So I left them on the lawn like my landlord did. Lol. Amateur at work. It's just like when I 1st started cooking. I'll get halfway through the process before making the realization that I should have done something else 1st. Like put the rice to be cooked 1st before cooking the dishes. Or in some, soak the rice 1st before preparing the ingredients. With experience, comes mastery. While I've overcame these issues in cooking, I have a lot to trial & error when it comes to gardening.

After mowing the lawn, I worked on the garden bed. I stabbed my finger on the rose bush thorns while grabbing a handful of crab grass. I thought my fingers were clear but I guess not. I stopped after 2 hours & went into the house to rest up. Spent time reading with Ton Ton lying in my lap. It doesn't get better than this. You know you're on the right track when you've earned the love of a dog.

I know for sure that if 1 day I own a place, I'll never have lawns put in. While this incident is unfortunate, it isn't why I'm put off about lawns. Gardening has never been an interest of mine. I fear bugs, worms, creepy crawlies. You can't rationalize phobias. It's just like how some people are so fearful of blood they faint at the sight of it. Or how some people absolutely freaked out when they're about to be pricked, for blood taking or injection or intravenous cannulation. I can say the pain only lasts for seconds but to that person, nothing can placate them. I'm also the type who puts low maintenance at the top of my priority. So you will never find me with white walls, white furniture or fittings. A lawn is a super high maintenance thing. Well, perhaps so becoz I'm not allowed to use chemicals to control the weeds in this rental place. But still, the grubs, millipedes, centipedes, spiders, flies, bees & such puts me off. Flies are a nuisance but I freak out even when my skin comes in contact with spider webs. I can't even pick up the caterpillar that got into the house with tissue paper. It's non contact. The tissue serves as a barrier but yet when I tried & felt the shape of the caterpillar through the tissue, I just couldn't proceed. So yeah, irrational but yet insurmountable to me.

This whole thing taught me a lot about what is acceptable to me & not. So it's kinda like a blessing in disguise. I know my place will either have artificial lawns or just paved over. I'm leaning towards paving over so I can throw soapy water over & scrub it. Everyone has different definition of pleasure. I want to spend my time off on things I find pleasurable doing. Reading, trying out new recipes & maybe even go back to writing. Not spending hours upon hours doing something that can never be completed. Better to find out now than to commit to ownership of a place I know I cannot maintain.