Goals To Work Towards In 2017

I dreamt again. Zombie apocalypse. I know, I watched too many such shows on Netflix. Although I was trying to escape in my dream, I was helping others do the same, trying to keep them safe. It is a far cry compared to my dreams from when I was younger. I was always afraid, always running. While there's still the element of fear in my dreams now, I'm either fighting to protect others or trying the best of my ability to help others. I'll like to think that it signifies a shift in my subconsciousness or perhaps a strengthening of my character. The dream ended with me successfully helping the group escape to the aid of an army group deployed to kill the zombies.

Hubs went back to work today. I don't start work till Friday which hardly counts as work. We're just supposed to do some cleaning & for my part, check & order lenses for the cases on Monday. It'll probably take about half a day. Home alone, I attended the 9.15 am session of Body Balance at the gym. We have to sign in & collect a tag for the respective class. This lady was trying to see the class roster underneath the sign in clipboard & she said, "Sorry, dog." I could have taken it as an insult but it would speak more of me if I chose to take offense. We always talk about kosen rufu in our Buddhist studies. Kosen rufu means world peace. For world peace to prevail, it has to start from me. I brushed it off as her strong character which was later very evident in the class. I do the same with my manager as well. Besides, dogs are very endearing. :)

I thought Body Balance would be easy for me since I've been doing yoga for over a year. Granted, we did stop yoga session for over a month now which we will pick up again this weekend. But I didn't expect it to be so hard. I had to stop & rest several times during the class. I kept up better with Konga which was much more fast paced. It did bring up my weak spots, namely, balancing (all the 1 legged poses) & quads strength (all the warriors & holding of lunges). At the end of the class, I verbalised that to the instructor & she told me to keep at it & I'll get better at it. Through conversation with her, I also found out that she teaches Body Combat as well, which is what I'm planning to get to this evening. Sometimes gym work (jogging on the treadmill & weights) can get repetitive. Going to such classes mixes things up & work on different sets of muscles. I truly find them very enjoyable even if I can't keep up.

Rather than resolutions which I consider "must get there no matter what", I'll go with goals to work towards. It's a bit more lenient & allows a bit more leeway should I fall short.

Physical Health/Fitness

1. I shall aim not to give up going to the gym that easily. It's ok not to see results. Just focus on how good I feel after each session. 
2. I will like to master at least 1 inversion by the end of the year, starting with head stand.
3. I shall eat well & stop deprivation diet becoz it just doesn't work.
4. Instead of a weight goal, I shall aim to build more muscles & lose more fats. 

Mental Health

1. I shall sing more to my dogs. Singing is 1 of my favourite past times. I sing during the journey to work & back home everday. Hopefully they'll enjoy it.
2. Cut the self doubt. Whether I can or not, as long as I've tried my best.
3. Cut the self degrading talk. I'm as good as the next person. 

Spiritual Health

1. Human revolution is a life long work in progress. I shall continue to polish myself so that I will shine even brighter.
2. I shall contribute a little bit more to kosen rufu than I did last year even if it's something very small.
3. I shall aim to further apply the Buddhist principles I've learnt in my life. 
4. Finally, never stop doing the 3 pillars of faith, practice & study.

1st Post of 2017

Is it a bad omen to be having a nightmare on New Year's Day? It's supposed to be a start to the new year with new determinations. But I woke up dreaming that Wang Wang has passed away after he "生了一场大病" & refused to eat. Naturally, I demanded to know from my dad if he brought Wang Wang to the vet since he didn't do so for Puggy. But before I got the answer, I woke up. Perhaps even my subconscious self is afraid of the answer. 

As per tradition, we went for the New Year meeting at the centre in Osborne Park. The encouragement given was that a new year is the time we make new resolutions & reaffirm our goals. Life will always be full of ups & downs. The Gosho says that nobody, not even sages or worthies can avoid problems. So let us all strengthen our efforts to overcome & transform the negativity in our life.

After the meeting, hubs drove us to Northbridge where we had dim sum at Dragon Palace. There's a lot of hype around this dim sum restaurant but we both felt that the food was average. I think our goal is to try all the restaurants offering dim sum to find the best of the best. Lol. Hubs felt Silver Seas in Morley (if you don't like queuing as Wang's is always super busy) is best while I felt Springs in Beechboro is best (but unfortunately they stopped selling dim sum a year ago when their dim sum chef went back to Malaysia). The times we ate dim sum here in Perth way way way exceeds the times we had dim sum in Sg.

Whenever I'm not working, I'll take an afternoon nap. Which means I've been napping for the past 1 week. 🙊🙊🙊 This time in my dream, I opened the sliding door at the back of the house. Instead of our tiny paved yard that leads to the garage, the back of the house was just a vast area of sand. Like unconstructed land. I turned back to hubs & said, "Hey, maybe we can expand the house outwards." Then I looked to the sky & there was a triple rainbow in the sky! It was an amazing sight.

In real life, I've ever only seen a double rainbow & it was here in Perth. A triple rainbow perhaps signify hope & the promise of better days. It's a good dream to end the 1st day of the new year with.

The Dream World

They say dreams are a product of your brain processing your subconsciousness while you're asleep. Sometimes, they bring to mind someone whom you haven't thought of in years. I can't remember a dream that is a replay of reality life. They've always been works of fiction. Several weeks ago, I had a night plagued with dreams. Out of the many, I only remembered 2. 

I was reversing my car into a parking lot when I reversed it into a SUV in the next lot. I got out of the car immediately to inspect the damage to the SUV. Instead of speaking to me, the mother sent her 13 year old daughter to discuss the proceedings. I've not seen them in many years. In 2004, I took care of this girl in the ward. She was an anorexic at that time. She didn't look 13. Due to the malnutrition, she obviously missed all the growth milestone & probably looked like what an 8 year old would look like. What the psychiatrist thought was that the dad had the typical Chinese mentality, loved only the son, paid attention only to the son & that it was her way of seeking attention & love. I had a feeling that was why she stopped eating. She was at the puberty age. Anorexia will stop puberty on its track. She only wore pants, hated skirts or dresses. She refused to grow her hair long like what most girls desire. Instead, she would always get a boy's cut. She would put on weight in the hospital, only to lose it all & had to be readmitted shortly after she was discharged. The mother couldn't force her to eat back home. I don't know what happened subsequently as I was transferred to the Operating Theatre at my request. It's been 12 years. In my dream, she was still in her 13 year old body becoz that was how I remember her to be. Why did my brain drag out someone I've not even thought of in 12 years? Funny how the brain works. I wonder if she's well.

That same night, I had a totally different dream. I was going to meet friends for a meal in a restaurant. For some reason, I decided to go wrapped in a towel. Like just out of the shower wrapped in towel naked. Everyone else were dressed, except for me. I was feeling quite comfortable about it actually. It was only until I saw an ex-boyfriend in the same restaurant that I started to feel really self conscious about being almost naked. This dream I understood. I was comfortable about being barely dressed with my friends but I'm afraid to be "naked" around this ex-boyfriend. I care about what he thinks & I can't open up to him. This was the only boyfriend I had that we parted still in love with each other. I guess a part of me will always wonder how we would have turned out. 

Yesterday early morning, 2.43 am. I had a blueberry muffin with me. I entered this "cafe" which looked exactly like the instrument processing room in my previous work place (we call it Theatre Sterile Supply Unit or TSSU). In the front of the room, an ex-colleague, a healthcare assistant working in the department was mopping the floor. When I passed through the doorway to the back of the room, it looked nothing like the real TSSU. Instead, the back room was a patisserie, selling different kinds of pastries. Another ex-colleague who is an EN had just knocked off having worked there as a server. I asked for Dolly & she helped me get Dolly from behind the counter. I handed Dolly the blueberry muffin, wished her happy birthday & gave her a hug. She was very happy. Upon seeing that, my ex-collegue, the EN, took a chocolate croissant from the counter, gave it to Dolly & wished her happy birthday as well. 

It was her birthday yesterday. So this was also a dream I understood. I woke up from the dream at 2.43 am from feeling too hot & sweating. I whatsapp her immediately, told her my dream & wished her happy birthday. I don't usually text people in the middle of the night but I know her well enough that I wouldn't wake her. Lol. 

Aviation Diaster

It was a clear sunny day. The perfect weather for outdoor activities. We gathered on a grassy field, whipped out our camping chairs, cold beer in hand & sat catching up with a few friends.

A shadow rolled over us & I lifted my head for a look. It was a plane flying by. Something wasn't right. The plane was way too near, way too low. We watched, horrified as the plane rolled belly up to the left. It kept turning. And turning. The pilot seemed to gain a moment of control & righted the plane. Only to over compensate & rolled belly up to the right. They ran out of height. The plane crashed into the field just hundreds of meters from where we were sitting.

I did something I would be ashamed of. I took out my phone & took a picture of the flame engulfed plane. I finally came to my senses & dialed emergency services as we ran towards the wreckage.

The nightmare occured on Saturday morning, just before dawn. I'm fretful of such dreams for fear that they'll come true. I'll never forget my premonition of a dream many years ago, just 1 week before the tsunami hit. I knew it was very near my birthday. When I searched online, it stated that the tsunami hit on 26th Dec 2004. When news broke of the tsunami, I was shocked beyond words.

I had dreamt that I was standing on the beach with my ex (he wasn't my ex at that time). The shoreline suddenly receded with alarming speed. But all of us on the beach just stared. The huge 12 storey high wave came at us just as suddenly. Everybody was screaming. We tried but we knew there was no way we could outrun it. I was swept away & only managed to save myself by hanging onto the top of a coconut tree with my life. When I came to, I was in a straw hut. I remembered my panic. Was my then ex still alive? Were any of my family alive? The uncertainty, the emotions felt so real.

Till now, I've not had another nightmare of such a scale that came true. Who knows where these dreams come from? How do they come true? Coincidence?

Prophetic Dream?

During the Reiki class, my teacher asked us to pay attention to changes in sleep patterns & dreams. Reiki can enhance your dormant psychic abilities & make its presence known through dreams. We dream everytime we sleep. We just don't remember. But when you wake up at the right time, you will.

I had a night full of nightmares a few weeks ago. I only remembered 2 of them. I was being chased by a gigantic crocodile along a HDB corridor. It was not the new HDBs that have been popping up recently. It was a long corridor that I remember from my childhood days. By now, that HDB flat must be over 30 years old. It was rapidly gaining on me. I ducked into a stranger's flat, slammed the wooden door shut & laid belly down on the floor. I then put my finger to my lips, signalling the owner to keep quiet. I could hear the crocodile crawl past.

I woke up & I drifted back to sleep. Then, I was trying to use 1 of those single unit stove plus oven. But to my horror, parts began to fall off the top of the oven onto the racks. Water started pouring into the oven from apparently nowhere since there wasn't even an overturned pot of water on the stove top.

Being chased is a very common dream. It signifies that you're running away from something in real life. I wonder if the 2nd dream is trying to show me how afraid I was of having my goal or life falling apart. Not so sure about the water though.

Just few days ago after graduation, I had this dream about Ton Ton. It started off freaking me out. His nose fell off. I picked it up for further examination. It was crusty & hard. I quickly looked at Ton Ton to check how he is. To my surprise, he still has a nose. His nose is moist & healthy looking. He looks absolutely good & happy. It is my hope that all illnesses & diseases will now fall away from him, leaving a healthy Ton Ton.

The Beginning Of Immortality

Just woke up from a dream if that's what I'm gonna call it. It hardly qualifies as a nightmare but yet it brought up a scary notion.

I was playing with a dog that looks frighteningly like Ton Ton. White, Miniature Schnauzer. He behaves exactly like Ton Ton too. The events that follow depict man made immortality. I don't think that is possible but who knows how technology will progress?

I removed a chip that looks like a micro SD card from the back of the dog's neck & the dog stopped animating immediately. I then insert the chip into a wooden skeleton frame of a dog (think 3D wooden jigsaw puzzles sold in push carts in Vivo). The frame continued where I left off with the white dog, behaving like Ton does.

I tried to steer my dream for the answers. Asked myself what's animating our living body. If it's the soul, have we found a way to store the soul in that chip when our earthly body fails then insert that chip into an artificial 1 so we can carry on our "life" if we can call it that? So is that Ton's soul in that chip & he "lives on" in whatever artificial body I put the chip in? The shocking answer is yes.

Immortality. Humans have finally found a way to live on forever. Ton Ton isn't the only 1 with the chip. I have 1 too.