Sweating It Out

Been doing recovery this week & last. Initially, I didn't quite enjoy it but it's just my perfectionist psyche at work. On my 2nd day in recovery, I felt I wasn't picking up what was required of me. I was right there on my 2nd day circulating that I could be left on my own. So being unable to replicate that frustrates me. I was missing out things that should be documented. I felt awkward going through pre op assessment & post op instructions with patients & their relatives. Firstly, becoz I had not familiarised myself with the processes & secondly, becoz of my inarticulate self. I know it's unrealistic to expect myself to be able to function well on my 2nd day in recovery. I made use of my feelings of inadequacy to push myself forward. I told myself that I just have to face what I fear. Face it & conquer it. That's the only way to get ahead. I continued to feel lousy on my 3rd day (Monday) in recovery. But by my 4th day, yesterday, I began to feel being "in it". I'm giving out post op instructions without appearing that I'm reading from script. It feels like a well rehearsed dance. I feel like I'm dancing around recovery, floating from 1 task to another. For 2 days in a row, I actually sweated while at work. I still feel lost though, when there's nothing to do. I'm still not used to having periods that are quiet, for example while waiting for patient to come out from surgery. I feel like I should be doing something. I just can't kick back & relax.

On my drive out this morning (no, it's not another driver), I noticed a red light that flashed every few seconds just ahead. This road is unlit as it doesn't have street lights. I slowed down & when my headlights revealed what was ahead, I braked & gave them a wide clearance. It was a guy skateboarding on the road with his husky without a leash! Oh my gosh! I had several cars behind me & anyone of us could have hit them in the dark. The husky could have dashed into the middle of the road & gotten itself killed. What was this guy thinking??? No matter how well trained you think your dog is, there're no guarantees that it won't take off if there's a sudden loud noise. Something my dog trainer said stuck with me despite all these years. I sent Puggy for obedience training as he's really a handful when he was 8 months old (he's 7 years old now). The trainer related this incident where a guy felt his dogs were perfectly trained. They could walk without a leash perfectly. That means that they never walked ahead of him, always alongside. When he stopped, the dogs stopped & sat stay. 1 day he was out on a walk with his dogs when there was a loud pop, all his dogs scattered. He didn't even know who to chase after since they all ran in different directions. 1 was lucky as it ran into the housing area. 2 were not as lucky as they dashed out onto the road & were killed instantly by an oncoming car. I don't want to be critical but these are potential accidents that can be prevented. Urgh! It makes me so furious that people are not giving a damn about their dogs' life & well being.

Having a half day list today, I got home by 2 pm. Seeing that the weather was nice, I decided to bring Ton for a walk around the neighbourhood. As usual, my lazy ass of a dog only managed to make it to the park 200 m away before indicating that he wanted to go home. We got back & I unleashed him without letting him into the house. He had been indoor most of the times & I wanted him to get a bit of sunshine & fresh air. He patiently sat by the front door while I pulled weeds from the front lawn for an hour. Occasionally, he would walk over & smelled my butt. Silly dog. I haven't done much weeding since I started working so I had weeds with thick stems, weeds that had flowered & the "spring onion" weeds that J told me about. An hour squatting on the lawn is no joke. When I tried to get up, my back wouldn't straighten. Lol. Signs of ageing. Even then, I still had many smaller weeds & that's just the front lawn. Not to mention the weeds that've grown in between all the pavers. Gosh... I think I really need the Weed n Feed for the back lawn.

There you go. I kid you  not. The weeds really flowered.

The "spring onion" weed, complete with a bulb of "onion".