Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Thoughts On Divorce

I called home this morning & my mom told me that my 2nd paternal uncle & aunt had split up. My 4th uncle who is very against divorce is naturally very angry with them. It's no secret my 2nd uncle & aunt don't get along. Their marriage had been on the rocks for so many years, probably more than 20. They've spoke of divorcing for a long time as well. In fact, my 4th uncle was against me & my ex divorcing as well. He's not a bad person, just very traditional in thinking, that marriage should be literally forever.

I used to feel that having been divorced is a shameful thing. But after so many years, I do feel that rather than suffer by staying forcibly together, parting ways isn't a bad idea afterall. If my 4th uncle had insisted that we not divorce & we didn't, I probably will be living in misery. Waiting at home for a husband who doesn't come home becoz he's with the other woman. What kind of life will that be? If my 2nd uncle & aunt had split up long ago, they probably will have a 2nd chance at happiness (maybe). But now that they're in their 60s, they've already lived majority of their life in misery, hating each other's guts. They have wasted their prime years in a loveless & unhappy marriage.

So, while I'll not encourage people to divorce, I won't persuade them out of it either. This is especially true if 1 or even both party has no desire to save the marriage. If it really is the end, why not just let it end? It'll be better for both involved. 人生已经很苦了, 何必让自己更苦?

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